Doesn't really require any explanation except to say it's hot as hell. Free pics from our friends at YouLoveJack.com. Just click on the picture.

What to do on New Year’s Eve? If the shitty sardine-pack of the Times Square ball drop ain’t your scene (and really, whose scene is it?), there’s still plenty to do in the City That Never Fucking Sleeps. From the massive (Southern stoner rockers My Morning Jacket at Madison Square Garden to the miniature (high school punk bands covering their favorite, umm, punk bands at Brooklyn DIY venue Death By Audio), get the fuck out there and party like it’s 2009! Our friends at MyOpenBar.com lay out the best Dec. 31 options.

There’s some awful wannabe rap videos out there (remember “Ice Ice Baby?”), and then there’s this. Bask in the glory of mustached members of the El Paso Police Department rhyming away about the dangers of gangs through the cautionary tale of Big, the fictional gangster from the hood fated to die too young.

New Yorkers aren’t often able to get away and spend time in the great outdoors, so let the outdoors come to New York. That’s the idea behind the New York Earth, a giant installation sculpture that’s nothing more than a giant pile of 250 cubic yards of dirt. Installed in 1977 and open to the public since 1980, the Earth mound is located in Soho and has free admission most of the year. A room full of dirt doesn’t sound very exciting? Hey, at least it’s not another Starbucks.

First New York banned smoking, then they banned trans fats, now it’s bye bye to Sparks, the bubbly booze beverage fortified with caffeine, ginseng and other fun stuff. The drink has a definite cult following, but haters contend it masks the effects of alcohol and has been targeted to underage drinkers. "They are fundamentally dangerous and put drinkers of all ages at risk," New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo says. But Sparks won’t be taken off store shelves -- it’s just having the caffeine taken out. Guess it’s time to go back on the coke.

Our fine sponsors at DirtyBoyStudios present you, oh constant reader, with the opportunity to win five, count 'em FIVE of our hottest selling porno DVDs including:

Caught!
Exposed!
Dared!
Chelsea Sublet!
and Doll Fuck: The Movie

How, pray tell, do you win? Well, we want to hear about your sex life! In the comments section tell us the dirtiest, craziest place you've had sex. Give us the sordid details but keep it short, dirty and true. The guy with the hottest true (or remotely plausible) story wins!

Winner announced on January 9th! Complete Rules here.

Some more Extra Big Dicks - free for the taking - just click on the pic.

Everyone knows you shouldn't drink and drive, but who knew drinking and riding could be so dangerous?! A new report from Columbia University shows that alcohol was involved in nearly half of the accidental subway deaths that took place between 1990 and 2003. More specifically, 145 of the 315 people who have died riding (or waiting) for the train had been boozing, although it doesn’t specify exactly how wasted the tragedy victims were when the smack went down. Remember that the next time you're waiting for the N train home and think the worst that could happen is waking up in Coney Island! Also of note: "With the changes to the financial picture in New York, there's talk of an increase in alcohol intake," says the report's author. At least somebody noticed.

Now is the time when music critics the world over start churning out their year-end Best of 2009 lists (take a look at tallies from Q, The Onion, Amazon.com for a taste), but apparently that's not ambitious enough for the people at hipper-than-thou hipster music site Pitchfork. That's why they've come out with The Pitchfork 500, a book that names the 500 best songs that have come out in the three decades since the punk explosion. Touching on everyone from Donna Summer and Marvin Gaye to Public Enemy and Dr. Dre to Pavement and Sonic Youth, the book offers a surprisingly eclectic assessment of popular music that both smelly hippies and obnoxious, opinionated hipsters can love. Rating: 7.6

Terrible acting, retarded - but he sucks David Lynch's dick. It's kinda funny.

A Staten Island man has been arrested on charges of second-degree aggravated harassment after allegedly making a prank call and convincing the woman on the other end to perform a rectal self-examination over the phone. "I would go through the phone book and pick random numbers and make telephone calls," the 49-year-old construction worker said in a statement to police. Then he'd ask them personal questions about their digestive system and try to get them to perform the exam. At least one woman fell for the scam, but later realized he "did not represent a medical establishment." The prank caller faces up to a year in the slammer.

Visiting virtual NYC has never been any fucking cooler than it is with the new Google Earth. The entire island of Manhattan has been upgraded with alistic 3D Views that make cruising through the streets of the city almost as good as the real thing. Also, for the nonbelievers out there: Track Santa with Google Earth as he flies around the globe on Christmas Day delivering presents to all the good little girls and boys!

This Dylan, as smooth skinned, big dicked hunk with a beatific smile... check out the image gallery, courtesy of DirtyBoyVideo.com, for free. Just click on the pic.

This Holiday Season VICE gives you the gift of good music - a really interesting and fun free compilation 'sampler' with King Khan, Chromeo and the amazing The Streets CD from Vice Records...

From us? You get nothing...

This dude tested positive for drugs so he broke into his PO's office.
The guy broke a window to get into the place - USING HIS GUN

The punchline is that among other crimes, he was charged with ARSON. I guess he did not manage to burn the place down.

Man Stole His Urine Sample, Police Say
AP

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (Dec. 15) - Authorities say a man was arrested for stealing a small refrigerator from a probation office used to store urine samples, including his own
---

The Alachua County Sheriff's Office said a 26-year-old man, Devin Perry, stole the fridge after testing positive for drug use. Police said he went to the office Sunday, shot out a window to get inside and removed the locked refrigerator.

Probation officers gave investigators a list of names of those whose drug samples were stored in the stolen fridge. Investigators tracked down the suspect at his home where they found shards of glass with blood on them.

The fridge is still missing, but the man was being held at the Alachua County jail. He's charged with arson, destroying evidence, burglary and larceny.